Pete ([info]pjc50) wrote,
@ 2009-02-06 15:08:00
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On the offence
There's a lot of offence-taking happening at the moment. One wave of it is upsetting Ingrid; another wave is the bizarre events at the BBC surrounding the sacking of Carol Thatcher. In the latter case it seems to have got into second-order offence. People are taking offence at a different set of people being offended. That way madness lies.

It's also highlighted to me how much Cambridge* is dependant on a sort of crystalized standing wave of cognitive dissonance. Especially where everything is subject to critique, when I realise what isn't critiqued the only conclusion I can come to is that it's invisible to the participants.

I'll also highlight these words of [info]like_a_swallow

If this is the person I think it is, I know that he is beautiful and extremely kind in essence, and so it makes me sadder to see him in flames.

Through my life, I've benefited so much from acts of kindness, of forbearance, and of deep understanding, that it really amazes me. The vast majority of it came from "difficult" poeple: people I've been "warned off", told were strange or toxic, and so on, and so rarely from the regularly balanced.


I've had the experience of having connected very strongly with half a dozen people over the years who could be described as "controvertial". There's no way they'd get on with each other, but I've learned from them. They'd say things that others wouldn't, throw a different light on the world.

More worldview illumination is always good. The thing to watch is what you choose to present to others; as a certain controvertial famous person once said, it's not what goes into your mouth that defiles you, it's what comes out of it.

Have a little grace towards people, and you may be suprised.

(* by "Cambridge" I mean "a particular dominant social scene" - other social scenes are available, but I wish I could find one)



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[info]uisgebeatha
2009-02-06 04:00 pm UTC (link)
other social scenes are available, but I wish I could find one

And this is what I've wanted to say for ages. But then again you can *make* your own social scene if the existing ones are shit or contain shit people.

Also what I wanted to say- a small group of people finds a thing that person X says witty/amusing, but someone not of that group/a complete stranger may find it offensive/abrasive. A little of that tired cliche 'thinking outside the box' might actually make people see this, but I think that's too much to ask for really.

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[info]crazyscot
2009-02-10 09:48 pm UTC (link)
I think there's an observation lurking here about human nature and the status quo; about how it takes nontrivial activation energy to escape from perceived local maxima.

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[info]uisgebeatha
2009-02-11 08:59 am UTC (link)
Mm, quite. I wish I had some kind of useful solution other than to go 'I find the way you do X offensive, kthxbye'.

Evidently, from commenters below, that would include leaving Cambridge.

Wow, I really love chiark. < /sarcasm>

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[info]davefish
2009-02-07 02:48 pm UTC (link)
When ones hobby is whinging, and you have no reason to whinge, then one has to resort to meta-whingery.

Must come over and visit you at some point!

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(Anonymous)
2009-02-07 08:24 pm UTC (link)
Other social scenes are available. Though they might have less parties. And be farther north.

S.

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[info]uisgebeatha
2009-02-11 09:00 am UTC (link)
Please qualify this statement so it sounds less to me like 'well if you don't like the chiark collective you can fuck off and take your toys back up north'. Otherwise I will have to rapidly come to the conclusion that poison is spreading through people I used to class as friends faster than I first thought.

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Thank you
[info]misthawk
2009-02-13 06:37 pm UTC (link)
*wave*
I'm here from [info]uisgebeatha's LJ, and just wanted to say thanks. You two are some of my favorite people right now. x

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